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A Cold and Windy Night

November 14, 2014 by joode   

Thunder rumbled in the distance. Whoosh! A gust of wind passed me by. I was all alone, trembling in my holiday cabin in the forest of Canada. Suddenly the door flew open. The wind swept me off my feet.

Lightning flashed around me. The sky was lit up with blinding sheets of light showing rows of blood red eyes. Wolves! I panicked. Scrambling to my feet I slammed the door behind me. I shoved the tables and chairs in front of the door. In the kitchen I found the gas lighter. Racing to the fireplace, already prepared, I attempted to light a fire. Splutter! Splutter! No flame came from the lighter. The howling was becoming louder and nearer. What was I going to do?

I screamed, “Mum and Dad I wish you were here!”  Some wolves clambered onto the roof and the others began to claw at the door.  One smashed through the window glass. Standing near the fireplace frightened, horrified and screaming I knew that I was about to die.

I remember hearing a news story where there was a plane crash where a pilot saved others by landing on a road. He knew that he was going to die. I picked up a log of wood to kill the wolf coming through the window so that these wolves couldn’t destroy anyone else.

My first blow slayed this wolf. I could see the gory remains at my feet. Another one pounced on my shoulders. I bashed the wolf’s nearest paw with the log. He dropped to the floor. Behind me I heard scrapings.  A wolf was sliding down the chimney.

I looked at the mantelpiece as the picture of my mum and dad went black in my mind. (Flynn’s sentence)

I turned back to stare into the face of death. (Jared’s sentence)

 

Dear Parents and the World,

We would like you to choose which sentence you prefer for the ending to this story and tell us your reasons in your comments. None of us could decide so we are leaving it up to you.

Everyone participated in the writing of this story. Ask your child which section, sentence, word or idea they offered.

Thank you

3/ 4B

 


8 Comments »

  1. Melissa says:

    We choose Jared’s final sentence as it is simple and clear, even though it is rather terrifying!

  2. Stuart says:

    Both sentences are very dark! We choose Jared’s sentence too. We think it flows better with the story. If this story is to continue, it would be nice to see it take a more positive turn.

  3. Sandra says:

    Very exciting (like a macabre version of the 3 little pigs!) I like both sentences, but maybe Jared’s a little more – it’s short and direct and builds suspense quickly. What happens next?! (I’d love to see what happens next with both endings – like a choose your own adventure story). Nice work 3/4B

  4. Simon says:

    I like how jarred ended it as the character was going to face the nasty feral wolf and be brave.

  5. Jackie says:

    Both the sentences were very good. I choose Jared’s sentence because its precise and will enable the author/s more options to take the story forward.

  6. Claudia says:

    I liked Flynn’s sentence because I could imagine this as a final scene in a movie, but I liked Jared’s sentence best for a book because it was short, sharp and scary.

  7. rufus2014 says:

    3/b
    I think we should have Jareds’ ending because
    It ended so sudenly.

    Rufus

  8. Alexia says:

    I thought they were both really good but I prefer ja reds because his kept the reader thinking.

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